Friday, July 14, 2017

Let Go, Be Free

I try to remember good things now, in order to not dwell on the bad. In the past, I could never reach the point of "letting go" I am at today. It is definitely a process. There is so much to remember, and I enjoy the good memories. It keeps my heart filled with continuous love. When I remember the bad that goes along with the good, it causes turmoil in my heart and begins to turn it to stone. Before, when I fooled myself into thinking I was letting go, I didn't realize I was fooling myself and actually clinging on even tighter. Digging my claws in while looking away. To keep my heart from going cold, I choose to relish sweet memories and sweet fantasies of what could have been in order to spread the love of my heart to others. I keep pictures and diaries to remember I am human. To remember we are all human. We have feelings, we have a choice. I choose to keep love in my heart and I choose to put the bad in a tightly closed box that I can still look through when I have doubts, but when I think of important people in my life, no matter how dark times may have been, I try my best to love all they had given me, in a positive light. It takes time to heal from things, places, and people that hurt you indescribably, but I think what works for me is cherishing the positive moments in order to keep the negative feelings at bay. So I don't hurt myself anymore, at all. Again, we are all human, and we will all eventually hurt again, but everyone makes mistakes... And for me to live free, I have to do what it takes to keep my mind free and know what to do in order to keep from making the same mistakes over and over again, while still holding all the love I can in my heart. With all my love, honestly, and as true as I can, I am letting go.

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