These Days

These days have become quite unfathomable. I stop and think about everything I've done, and I can't believe it. Am I dreaming? Is this some sick joke? It can't all be true, but that's the disease. It feels like it's someone elses life. I feel so outside of myself. What's happening? I don't like this, at all. So, here I go... Another day down, and countless more to go. Where my feet will lead me, only God will know.

DETERMINATION

I want great things to happen in my life. I wish it was easy to quit bad habits. To me, it's an addiction, and I want to indulge in it so bad. I just can't help myself. I want and need help. Take this as a sign... I want to get at least 2 jobs, since I'm out of school. Save up as much money as I can for a P.O.S. car, save up enough to move out of THE house. I want to live on my own... By myself, in a wore out ugly place that was able to lock up securely, even if it means living on Crump Blvd. I want to start looking into getting money from grants and loans to go back to school at U of M, and major in Social Work. I want all of these things. I know I'm ready. I screwed up in the past, but I'm over PARTY time, and I want to get sober and do the things I need to do. Even if it's starting out slow by taking part-time core classes at STCC before transferring to U of M... Working a full-time job during part-time classes, and trying my damned to do the same with full-time classes at U of M. I really want help, and I'm serious this time. I'm close to being 21, and I need to get on the roll. So, I will keep in touch.

xoxo
Lindsey